An Excellent Book on Leaving a PD
Updated: Feb 18, 2018
A friend got this book for me and I'll tell you what...if you are trying to leave a personality disordered person, you need this book.
The PDs behave in very predictable ways, based on their particular disorder and history. So, although they cause chaos and confusion, we can often predict with accuracy their behavior in particular circumstances. The book discusses some of these circumstances, as they often happen in a separation. They loose control, for instance, and it often escalates their behavior. In fact, in many cases, they may become physically violent where there was no prior history of such behavior.
The legal side of divorcing a narcissist can be harrowing. There are ways to address the court that can protect you and further your position...or destroy your credibility. The judge, after all, only hears what you say in those moments, and sees your emotional or lack of emotional response, and that's all s/he sees. They don't have much time to make a judgment. The authors discuss the importance of not 'labeling' your partner as personality disordered without a medical or psychiatric diagnosis. The judge will most likely consider you presumptuous and mean spirited. It won't help your case. Stick to 'what he said' and 'what he did.'
"Splitting" is a term used for breaking up a relationship, but also for something PDs do...they often view you and others as either "all bad" or "all good." Generally speaking, people don't fit into these categories - they exhibit both good and bad qualities and behaviors. The book, Splitting, by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger, addresses these and other issues that will help you prepare for a safe exit from a toxic relationship.
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